Tuesday, 11 November 2008

home sweet home.

Going home, it always conjures up a lot of different feelings for me, and this time was no different,
I originate from derby, a small town in the middle of england, when i go home, im inspired,
there are rivers, grass, trees, streets that you can actually see without a full row of cars on everyone,
but it's boring,
or is it?
everyother time i thought so, but this time it's different.
I'm not ready yet, but one day i see myself being content living in that kind of place. Is london forever? i don't know, i question it all the time.
Im starting to make some lovely friends here, I have very few elsewhere now, i think i'd be scared to leave, as scary as it was to leave for here,
but i don't know times change, people change, things change, i guess i have to say i'll see.

One week in at college and im loving it, the thought of starting to make videos is amazing and im also enjoying the extra photography workshops i've taken on, im actually LEARNING what im doing, as being self taught there are some basic things i think it's essential i am now learning.

some exciting news also,
my mum is taking up photography,
she was talkinga botu needing a hobby on her approach to 60, she is getting bored i think her working hours are getting less and less
my parents travel quite a bit and i actually have persuaded her to do some landscape photography for stock sites,
so we will see how that goes!

before i left london to derby for my mums birthday i went on a date, to the rather amazing restaurant 'artisan',
well what a place, i think it's the best meal in terms of 'quirkiness' i've ever had,
really was an art form, i want to upload the pics off my phone and tell u more next blog as it really was spectacular, the guy however wasn't,. ok thats harsh, what imeant was my feelings for him wern't he was infact lovely.
the kind of guy i SHOULD like, the guy who would treat you like a princess, and from the outside has it all, a nice attitude, loads of money, a great interesting job, an interesting person but there was no spark....the search continues.

ok so im busy and behind and finding this hard to keep up with but ill try to update when i can.
sorry this one is very disjointed but i wanted to type before i forgot!

Tuesday, 28 October 2008

the stress of city living.

im so stressed out at the moment, have so much to edit i don't know where to start which, makes it worse as i sit at my computer procrastinating for ages and NOT editing, so it's not even going down!!
i also have so many dates to put in the diary, emails to respond to, things to do with london living like renewing my resident permit before i start getting clamped outside my own house! london makes things so hard for you ,

i LOVE to hate this city,

on a positive went to a wicked comedy night last night and just got accepted to study two days a week at a london institute for video production and a few photography modules:)

Monday, 27 October 2008

update for nothing.

s aYesterday i took a day off from my enormous mound of editing and went to some galleries with a friend and it was really good, we went from frivilous silly chat about things im not going to go into on here to discussing the theories of plato and other philosophers, i love talking to knowledgable well read but fun people as im like a sponge i absorb a lot of what people say and it works both ways i can absorb a lot of mindless crap too! so the more relevant stuff i hear the better.
it was nice to actually have a conversation that challenged something for a change as in my job it's too easy to get to know people on a base level and never reach anything else as you meet people for days here and there. in fact thats london really, or settling into london anyway.

but yes it was great and we both did a poetry recital thats going to be featured in the william blake exhibition, i don't know how or why we volunteered for that, but it seemed a fun idea at the time.

im soooooo behind on work but having to take on more as i need the cash but still massively behind on editing, been unmotivated to start it and i think i give out too much.
but i will catch up somehow, off to see a magician/comedy evening this evening seriously trying to get on with the editing but now im blogging arghhhhhh
oh and wish me luck as i have an interview to discuss a possible scholarship in video editing (part time) in the morning. :/

Saturday, 25 October 2008

weddings/parties.

i've been wanting to get into wedding photography for a long time now, so i finally organised a bridal test shoot, was really good fun VERY hard to make the couple look like a couple who had been in love for years....no nearly impossible but with some frustration and careful editing and selecting i think i made it look reasonably authentic! decide for yourself!

It's wierd that whole family/marriage/kids/ lifestyle still seems a million miles away, as far away as it did when i was 12, as now im in my mid twenties. I think it's something London distracts you from as it's certainly far from the front of my mind right now, ha scouring London for a decent man is hard enough! couple of interesting meetings and dates lined up though, again ill tell you more about that one depending how it goes, plus i have to be a little secretive about it at the moment anyway. What i thought was funny is the dating world of the self employed individual when you both have to check your diary to see when you can meet up and realise it'll be a week away!! lol.

here are some pics from the wedding shoot.

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im planning a murder mystery party on friday for a few friends, im quite looking forward to that, i have some really ghoulish recipies from sainsbury's to con someone into helping me make (thats my secret i actually enjoy and am quite good at baking, now ive said that these will be awful! if they arn't ill take some pics as they are exciting recipies! like mirangue ghosts with chocolate drop eyes and swamp monster jelly just hope they dont look like white poos and noel edwards gunk machine!
and then it's a friends birthday at the weekend, i had to decline nobu due to lack of funds to spend on such delights but im up for some cocktail supping at china's or another such venue seen as she works at paper i know ill be looked after :))
. it's a friend who is quite new but has been going through a bad time lately and at a similar time to me, so we have become close quite quickly and i really want her to have a great time as i know she really needs it right now.

what are my 4 solitary followers doing for halloween? lol.

Also comming up i am about to start a video production course as videoing is something i have ALWAYS wanted to have a go at and i've possibly been offered a part time scholarship for a few evenings a week so i'm keen to get involved if it all goes ahead.


bye for now.xxxxxxxxx

vintazia

ok so it's been a while, i've had a REALLY busy week shooting, and now i have a ton of editing to do.

The most memorable shoot of the week being my shoot with an old friend sam who wanted shots for her new business, which, is rather exciting she is opening a vintage clothes shop and after the shoot it ended that i am actually going to be a part of a seperate strand of it which we are going to start up together, i'll tell you more about it once the website goes up in a month or two but i'm pretty excited about that as i finally seem to have found someone as motivated as myself to start up a little business, so i'll tell you more about all that soon, for now ill post up some of the shots from the shoot which, were really good fun to do.

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Thursday, 9 October 2008

is blood thicker than water?

i just ended a two day stay from my parents, and it makes me wonder what it is that makes us so close to our families, what makes us willing to lay ourselves down and die for someone else?

My dad and I don't really get on, we do love each other he would do the world for me, and secretly we love each other a lot but we argue, always, we are just polar opposites but also too similar, our ideas are different but we are both stubborn, and wont back down, or drop an issue, a lethal combination and my mum is just an angel who sits on the side and watches us fight frustratedly,

the truth we do love each other, but if we wern't family we would probably hate each other, what makes that bond so strong? and it makes me question, i want to adopt children, always have, im not saying i wont have one of my own as well but i've always wanted to adopt, and i know i will love that child as mine, suggesting it's not just a blood bond, maybe just the fact you have bought someone up as your own is enough to have that unconditional love for someone that nothing can shake.

I hate it, we get on for a bit then argue right before i leave or they leave, so leaving always has that tinge of sadness knowing you still have something to repair on the phone the next day, i think me and my dad have different ideas about everything but similar personality traits and stubbornous, making an argumentative combination!

While they were here i wen to the saatchi gallery, which, incidently was amazing, will post up some shots, but then went to tate modern.

this was awful,there was the old masters which ive seen 2 years ago, and then the new stuff, which was awful, the problem is shock tactics no longer work, they have been done to death and there is nothing left to shock, i found myself dismayed going in to a 'sexualy explicit' works to wath a guy sitting on a bed squeezing ketchup on a bed and rubbing his face in it, i mean what?
it's not even shocking anymore, just crap,
and all this square of red canvas, its been DONE, ok the first time, still no talent but i can see how it was a bit novel but it just isn't the same repeating it in red, then a square of grey a line of black, come on already, we can all draw a line down a page then afterwards go into the physcological archives to pull out some reason why we did it AFTER the event. I think artists 'sometimes' draw something then realise they have to back it up and find something after, this isn't art it's phylosophy, just my view ill be slated i know!!

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mum and dad

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me and mum

P.S REALLY hope i look like my parents at 60, i sometimes think stress makes me look older than them already!!

Tuesday, 7 October 2008

is there still a place for quality?

In todays ever commercialising society, it seems that there are so many people out there who are interested in paying the least they can for a service, no longer do people get quotes and weight up what they are getting, people find the cheapest, go with it, then regret it and spend again,

ok so i;m not the best photographer yet, i'm under no pretences, but i put a lot into my work and give out a product which i feel is pretty decent value for money, today i went to an meeting about someone who is setting up and forwarding on shoots to freelance photographers,

fair enough i could always use more bookings and i don't mind giving comission to another body to find me people, but i drive 40 minutes to the outskirts of london, leaving my car on a street i feel worried about leaving it on for the duration of the meeting to find, they are offering photoshoots to people for £49, 100 shots unairbrushed, are these people jokers? and people will work for it and people will buy them, the people working for it will be pissed off, their pictures arn't airbrushed, so 90% of people wont be happy using them for modelling, the photographers will be secretly pissed off at working so cheap so will do the easiest job they can.
They asked me to take shots in an indoor boardroom of a guy doing a presentation 'by means of a test to shoot models' and then to really rub salt in the wounds hand me a sheet of inspirational pics, with MY pictures on, which were never asked for in my photographers pack!!
So basically they are advertising non airbrushed photographs WITH airbrushed photographs, CON!
I made it very clear if i ever saw one of my pictures on their £49 advertising, I would be taking the case much further,
Please any photographers reading this, do not sell yourselves so cheap unless you are just starting out and it's practice that's different but everyone needs to get some sense of perspective here, photography is a skill as is airbrushing when you get to a decent standard, hold your ground, we didn't study this and work for free for however long to get that kind of cash.....


OK rant over!! :)))

Monday, 6 October 2008

Today.

Do you ever wake up and completely imagine you are somewhere else? I woke up this morning and I actually truly believed i was waking up at home, my mum downstairs in the kitchen preparing porridge, it's something stronger than imagination, every fibre of my being actually believing thats where i was at that time, it took me some time to shake myself out of it and realise it's ten years later and I'm no longer woken up for school and I left home years ago. Waking up in my bed when i visit my family is similar, there is a strange feeling about your bed at home that is unlike any other place you will rest your head, and it's not just a physical thing, there are different senses, and the feeling of safety and security that they are pottering about in the kitchen preparing breakfast, my parents are selling though, selling the place that was my home for about 15 years, now that will be strange, wondering if christmas morning will feel the same somewhere new but with half the familiar things.

I get sad when i think about such things all the time, because it's something that can never be turned back, i'm happier not living at home but I have some happy times and memories of being young things i'll never get back, and my parents are growing old now,
they are 60, yeah they are still really fit and active they still do body pump and yoga, but im starting to notice them age at last, i don't know if it's the infrequenecy of seeing them, but my dad isn't as sharp as he used to be, and he's starting to get more than a splattering of grey hairs. Nothing lasts forever, I always remember a few years ago they bought this bag of chilli seeds from costco, a massive bag, the biggest bag i've ever seen meant for industrial use, and I thought, you probably wont use all of those in a lifetime, the thought of buying something that is definately going to outlive you is kind of sad, I mean if they used a few everyday till they died, I doubt they would finish them. I will no doubt inherit half a bag of chilli seeds.

I watched tess of the d'urbervilles last part last night, It's my favourite book, i've read it 9 times and thats no mean feat at 600 pages of small type, but the remake film lived up to the book, i was crying my heart out, it's a strange sense of emotion obviously the cruel fates that lead tess to her sacrifice and the even crueller fate that befalls her are tear wrenching but that idea of such a true love, does that ever happen? does love come like that for anyone in real life? and can it last? Tess knew that, she didn't care about dying because she knew the feelings they had for each other could never last exactly like that moment for a lifetime.

On a more normal note I had a client shoot yesterday, probably the longest i've had since i started it lasted 8 hours! but the makeup artists were great and we got some really nice pics from it i will possibly even put in my book so thats not so bad, plus we have organised some bridal shoot dates to get my bridal website up and running!

ill post some pics

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loads more will be posted at www.flickr.com/sarahlouisephotography when i get them done later

but now im off to the doctors, i have more blood to give this time to sort out all my food intolerances digestive problemos, i already don't hardly touch wheat or dairy and i've lately reduced coffee and fruit (sadly this did help) but i'll probably end up with even less foods on my lists of to eat foods, but to be honest i just want to know, the frustration is not knowing what makes me poorly, not the not being able to eat things.

Then when I get back i'm researching video courses, as i've decided now is as gooder time to start as any, i've always planned one day on doing short commercials and music videos like david la chappelle, he's definately my inspiration, I love what he does.

Ok thats it now have to dash to good old docs, but will write more soon.

Tuesday, 30 September 2008

the road ahead.

As we speed along to our future destination, i can't help but wonder, do we ever get there?
You always have all these ideas about where you will be at certain points in your life, these points continually change, morph and the lines become unclear. I'm at that wierd age of the mid twenties, the age where the path you took even as far back as 16 and the choices you made have sculpted for your self probably where probably the start to the end. Not many people radically wake up at 30 and decide to change the course of their lives completely, a few, but not many, afterall you can't undo motherhood, and even mortgages and career choices arn't so easy to undo.

I don't even know how or why i decided to be a photographer, it just happened, it certainly wasn't my lifelong dream. At school I wanted to be a vet, but my science was my weakest subject, then a journalist or an author, but i did always love to paint, I was always creative, then when i started using a camera in my final year at uni I just never put it down and I just can't imagine any other future right now.

last night i did an evening promotions job, havn't done this for a long time, i've been more or less a sole photographer for the past four months. Nothing difficult standing around looking glam and collecting raffle tickets at a charity cricket bash, but i'm so tired of it all, full of ageing men and a few young cad's who would actually be rather appealing if it wasn't for the fact that when they talk to me all I can think is, 'you smarmy bastard, you think i'm easy and thick because i'm a promotions girl with long blonde hair', which could be rather unfair.

so that makes me ask the question? is it the man we like or the situation we meet them in? Meeting decent men in London is hard enough but I always find myself immediately turned off by all men in certain environments, it's like nightclubs,
I don't even give men a chance, I look around when i walk in and think, yeah there are some nice looking guys here, I see them getting drunk around me, look around again 5 belinis later and don't see anyone I would even want to pass the time of day with. Is this because the nice men don't frequent clubs and bars? Am I going to the wrong clubs and bars, or is it just that we are seeing these guys in their worst light, if I were to bump into one of them the following day browsing books in waterstones, I'd probably be bowled over, but thats just the kind of occasion when the men have returned to their decent self respecting selves and can no longer approach you,

so it's a no win situation, when you both have confidence thats unnatractive and when you don't it's attractive but unaproachable. I guess there are just times, places and whats meant to be but maybe sometimes we should break out of our comfort zone in the search for mr right.

On a side note i've been working on lots of images for a training school for hair called allilon,
it was amazing to see the skill involved in cutting the hair. After the job I received the congratulatory thanking email but it was this line that made me think

"i hope you enjoyed the hair i know its very different from the kind of thing you see on a regular bases and i think you seeing hair being cut like that over time will influence the way you see shooting hair."

I think it will influence more than the way I shoot hair, that sense of perfection, non of the 'oh ill just touch that up get rid of that later' talk, it did inspire me.

I'll post up a couple of the shots.

On wednesday I am teaching a rather special lady how to use photoshop. I have met a few people now in my life who I know came there for a reason,
some people come into your life because you like to hang out with them and you can pass the time of day easily and some people to make a profound difference to your plan and future, I know she is the latter, I don't know how long she will stay in my life but I know she will make a difference.

someone somewhere said everyone is on this planet to attribute to a greater goal and once your contribution is made thats it. Thats why some people die young because without them even knowing their goal was accomplished simply through them being alive for that short amount of time.I don't know how true that is and I need to look up the theory properly, i'm always collecting clippets of information and never the whole, but it's an interesting in theory.

Allilon shots:

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Monday, 29 September 2008

Welcome

Welcome to the loves, life and work of SarahLouise.
Well seen as this is my first blog I have decided to start from the beginning of my arrival in London....briefly.

It all started when I randomly decided that if I didn't move to London soon, I never would. I was a girl in my early 20's, with a portfolio of photography work, a certain lack of interest in everything I was doing in my hometown, and a lack of knowledge of where the future would, or even could, take me in a small villiage town in the middle of England,
most of my friends had since departed for bigger northern towns, or stayed where they graduated so i saw two options, dream about going to London, grow older, get married, have children, die, or just go. So i did the latter.

Ill prepared and with a cleared overdraft but no actual money and no job promises I went and well through the tumultous times, injury's, strange and multiple dates and short lived romances, nights out, moves, accidents and simply wierd times i am still here 2 years later, working as a photographer and occasional model in England's capital city.

My life in general, wake up, go to the local supermarket to pick up the days food (yes i could do a weekly shop but i like the fact it takes me out for 20 minutes every morning, it's become an almost ritual i don't think i could break now), answer some of my 200 emails i get daily, half of which are messages on social networking sites, predominantly facebook and flickr, then get on with some editing, maybe the gym or maybe a shoot, then of course there is the social side to living in londons capital but more of that later.

I'm like the eternal carrie bradshaw of London, i've dated some pretty eligable bachelors whilst living here, but for one reason or another dating in London is always short, sweet and increadibly random, maybe oneday i'll hark back to past times and lost loves but for now i'll skip that and start a fresh.

My dramas well briefly they include, living with a psycho i had to call the police out to rescue me from, car break in's, a leg injury that saw me unable to walk 3 months, and still causes the occasional hint that it might not be wholly gone and has left me with constant hospital checks to ensure i don't have an inflamitary disorder called lupus, sharing a room in earl's court for three months, computer break downs, 6 moves, nursing my friend in hospital, theres a lot more i just forget them right now, but now im a little more chilled and sorted, although there are always dramas this is me, and i live in london, it's all still for 3 months, then bang, something always happens.

but then London isn't wholly bad, i have met my fair share of very interesting people, a few barely known celebrities, some nice friends and recently a girl who is going to become a part of my photography business. And I feel the tide is turning of late, I just feel my luck coming back a little and my openess to things happening returning,

well for anyone interested welcome to the (somewhat edited) version of my life for anyone interested.

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www.flickr.com/sarahlouisephotography
and www.sarahlouisephotography.com